years ago, I was so calm and relaxed, you'd never have guessed it was
Christmas. I had a brand new baby, and we had just moved into a new house,
but I was grounded with an overwhelming sense of peace. Now that another
holiday season is bearing down on us, I think back to the reasons that
time was so magical.
That year, we simply went into our backyard and picked out a crooked
little tree that just screamed "Baby's First Christmas." I tied on some
bows, and we invited our closest friends and relatives to share some
Friendship Tea, sugar cookies, and prime rib (which my mother-in-law
brought and prepared.) We opened gifts that I had ordered online weeks
before (they arrived gift-wrapped.) It was a low-cost Christmas spent
in our unfurnished living room, but you would have been hard-pressed
to find a merrier place that year.
When we renew our focus on the holiday spirit, the stress of the season
begins to erode. This year, let us pledge to align our personal goals
to reflect the goal of the holiday season as it has existed for centuries:
to center on our spiritual awareness and connectedness in this spiritual
When professional organizers urge us to simplify, they ask us to eliminate
our time-wasters. This year, let us *find* some time-wasters. Particularly
during the busy holiday season, we moms too often feel that if we aren't
busy doing something, we aren't being of value. In the upcoming months,
consider the value of just lounging on the couch with your kids, of
playing a board game with your son, of reading the Christmas Box or
The Story of Hanukkah aloud in the evening; or of simply sitting around
for awhile thinking about how lucky you are for the family and friends
that are yours.
Meanwhile, take a close look at your self-made holiday to-do's. Is it
necessary to bake enough goodies for the neighborhood, or are you okay
with just whipping up the occasional batch of Rice Krispie Treats? Do
you want to travel to a distant relative's house on Christmas Day or
ask that they come to you? Keep in mind that the mere fact that you've
always done something isn't always a good argument for continuing to
This year, narrow your Christmas card list. Make it more personal. Follow
the lead of Mitten Strings for God author Katrina Kenison and make your
annual Christmas letter less about the accomplishments of your family
members and more about the ways you have all connected with one another
over the past year.
Meanwhile, reframe the way you perceive the task. Think of it not as
a tedious chore that involves long hours of licking envelopes and signing
your name, but as a way to illustrate your love for your family and
friends and to reconnect with the people whom you may have contact with
only once each year.
One last note: start early. That way, it's a relaxed process that only
requires you to jot a note or two in the evening as you sit with your
family. Also consider enlisting the help of your husband and the kids.
Little ones love to help moisten envelopes or draw pictures for relatives.
If you run out of time - or the motivation - to send cards, pick up
the phone instead.
Once again, the best way to circumvent stress is to start early. Consider
buying online. Many premier online retailers can save you time, energy,
and cash, and many of them offer a gift-matching service and gift-wrapping
at no extra charge.
Parties can be as laid-back or as lavish as you like. Don't underestimate
the power of a potluck. - guests love to feel like they're contributing
to a meal. No time to deep clean? Speed clean and dim the lights. Keep
a stash of food items on hand for latecomers or unannounced guests.
Helping someone in need can relieve holiday stress and help you ward
off the holiday blues that sometimes seep in this time of year.
Particularly during the holidays, opportunities abound. Just look in
your local paper. On the Internet, Volunteermatch http://www.volunteermatch.org
can set you up with an opportunity or idea with your specific skills
Be Good To Yourself
If you don't sit back and enjoy all of the fa-la-las, they'll be over
before you know it. Savor the season, and remember that you set the
tone for your family. If you're frenzied and frantic, your family will
be too, and your children will grow up thinking that's what the holidays
are all about.
If you are feeling anxious this time of year, release your feelings
into a journal. Start or maintain an exercise program to release those
energy-boosting endorphins, and make sure you're eating right.
Don't forget to spend some time on yourself. Invite your friends or
your daughter's friends (or both) for an indulgent Spa Evening. Prepare
some homemade facial scrubs and masks and let the stress of the season
In the end, it's important to decide what the Christmas season means
to you. I know my favorite time of the season isn't opening gifts or
filling goodie baskets or attending office parties. It's that three
minutes it takes on Christmas Eve to sing "Silent Night" by candlelight.
It's looking around to see all of my family and friends with their faces
lit up just enough that I can see their eyes glisten. To me, that's
Christmas. What is it to you?
Copyright 2000 by Susie Michelle Cortright
About the author:
Susie Michelle Cortright is the founder and publisher of Momscape, an
online magazine devoted to nurturing the nurturers.
Visit her at http://www.momscape.com
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